“The Lord said to Moses…”

Numbers 15:1

Lord,
Just like You spoke to Moses,
I, too, long to hear Your voice today.
I long to know Your will.
Deeply and desperately… I long for it.

Lord,
Please speak to me.
Show me where to go,
and what You want me to do.

You know how weary and broken my heart is.
Please don’t turn away from me.
See my weakness, Lord,
and speak to me.
Please guide my path.

Though I earnestly seek Your direction,
it’s hard to hear You.
I sit alone in a quiet, empty space,
with just the Bible in my hands,
feeling… lost.

From Genesis 1 to Revelation 22,
so many words—so much truth.
But among it all,
which one is for me… right now?
Is there a word for me today?

I wait,
and wait,
but honestly,
I no longer know.

Some people say one thing,
others say another,
but in truth—
none of them seem to know for sure either.

God had a land prepared for the people of Israel.

“…When you enter the land I am giving you to live in…”

Numbers 15:2

But what about me?

You spoke to Moses.
You had a land prepared for Your people to dwell in.

But what about me?

You haven’t spoken to me.
I have no idea where to go.
I don’t even know if there’s a place You’ve prepared for me.

What do You want me to do, Lord?
Please speak to me.

In the quiet of the early morning,
I sit alone—again—
asking, praying,
but I feel only silent.

All these unexpected things,
outcomes I never imagined,
the isolation I’m enduring,
the limitations of my reality—
and the weight of feeling stuck… helpless…

Do You see all this, Lord?
What do You want me to do?

Honestly… I just don’t know.

As I sit before Your Word,
writing down my reflections line by line,
my heart breaks—
and the tears begin to fall.

Lord
I don’t know anymore… I’m sorry.