Why I Long for What Moses Had

Lord,
speak to me.
Speak to me.

Every time I open Your word,
I ask You again.

I stumble often.
I grow tired.
But I return.
I ask again.
I ask again.

Human words are often flawed and cast shadows;
Your word is pure truth.

In the world’s eyes,
I may look small and hopeless.
But in Your word,
there is great hope.

No one on earth really knows my path.
But You do.
Only You do.

So I cling—again and again—
to Your word.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”

Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

Today in Numbers 27:12–23,
the Lord speaks to Moses.
He tells him where to go
and what to look at.
He reveals his future,
his failure,
even the reason behind it.

“Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Go up this mountain in the Abarim Range and see the land I have given the Israelites.’”

Numbers 27:12 (NIV)

About his failure at Meribah Kadesh,
Scripture says:

“both of you disobeyed my command to honor me as holy before their eyes.”

Numbers 27:14 (NIV)

As God shows Moses the promised land
and tells him that death is near,
I remember Jesus with Peter—
breakfast on the shore,
a word about the road ahead,
and the call:

“Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, ‘Follow me!’”

John 21:19 (NIV)

God spoke to Moses.
Jesus spoke to Peter.
So personally.
So clearly.

I, meanwhile,
often don’t know where to go
or what to do.
Many days are hard.

So I long for what Moses had,
and so I have this hope.

I am not there yet.
But Lord, through this season, refine me.
Bring me one day to that place—
to hear Your voice
and to walk in a steady, close friendship with You.

Do You hear my prayer?

Reading Numbers 27,
I long for what Moses had for another reason:

Moses asks.
And God answers—Joshua will lead.

“Moses said to the LORD, ‘May the LORD, the God who gives breath to all living things, appoint someone over this community.’”

Numbers 27:15-16 (NIV)

God hears.
God responds.

So I ask again:
Does God hear me?
Is He answering now?

Some days feel like a dry wilderness.
I feel left alone.

What is God’s will for me?

People see my failures and draw conclusions
as if they know everything
about me and about God’s will—like Job’s friends.

I’m weary of explaining.
I don’t want to argue.
Most of the time, I keep silent.

Then,
when I’m alone, I return to Scripture.
I pray and seek Your will.

I don’t know.
People don’t know.
But You know.
Only You know.
So I hold on to You.

Because I know how much I don’t know,
I read Your word.
Because I know how much I don’t know,
I rise in the early morning and pray.

Today’s Prayer

Lord,
have mercy on this unworthy one.
Speak to me.

You spoke to Moses.
You spoke to Peter.
Speak to me today.

Lead me to the place You intend.
Give me the work You command me to do.
Make me faithful to do it.

God who speaks,
God who hears prayer—
I praise You.
With a humble heart,
I worship You.

Fill my life
with Your will.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.