Reading Ezekiel 12,
I find myself longing for what Ezekiel experienced.

“The word of the Lord came to me”

Ezekiel 12:17 (NIV)

Lord, would You speak to me, too.
Lord, would You speak to me, too.

When life is desperate and confused,
when people’s words can’t be trusted,
when my weakness shows—

How should I live?
Where should I go?
So often, I do not know.

Circumstances change.
People change.

Only God does not change.
Only God’s Word is truth.

So here and now,
I seek His Word.

Let Your Word come to me.
Let Your Word come to me.

Yet the Word that came to the son of man in Ezekiel 12
wasn’t a private fix for personal troubles.
It was a commission—God’s will announced to His people:

“Son of man, tremble as you eat your food, and shudder in fear as you drink your water.”

Ezekiel 12:18 (NIV)

God’s warning was mercy—
a call to return,
a call to life.

God’s Word rested on Ezekiel
so God’s heart could reach His people.

“Say to the people of the land: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says about those living in Jerusalem and in the land of Israel: They will eat their food in anxiety and drink their water in despair, for their land will be stripped of everything in it because of the violence of all who live there.’”
“The inhabited towns will be laid waste and the land will be desolate. Then you will know that I am the Lord.”

Ezekiel 12:19-20 (NIV)

“Why are you here? I have a mission for you.”

A few months ago,
at a small church in Seogwipo, Jeju,
I shared a farewell testimony.

As I prepared,
old memories surfaced.

Senior year of college
I had nothing to offer.

Still, God stirred my heart for North Korea for nearly 22 million souls (the estimate then) without God, without food, without freedom. When I prayed, my heart burned and tears came.

Carrying only that ache, a sweeping vision was born in me as a young student—anticipating the immense expense of reunification and committing myself to the post-reunification rebuilding of North Korea’s industries. From there, doors opened one after another.

Then, in 2020, I failed—hard.
For five or six years
I refused to think about North Korea
or North Korean defectors at all.

But as I was preparing that testimony,
the memories returned.
Driving to church, I sensed the Lord impress this on my heart:

“Why are you here?
I have a mission for you.”

The impression settled on me strongly.

I remembered that senior-year version of me—
with nothing in my hands,
taking one small step at a time,
seeing God open what looked like closed, impossible roads.

Today, my hands still feel empty.
The path still looks impossible.
Yet if this burden is from the Lord again,
I will get up and take the next step.

Troubling Dream

Not long after,
I had a strange dream.

A church meeting had ended.
Everyone had left.
I stayed behind to clean.
At the door, a man handed me a coil of barbed wire and asked for help.

I didn’t want to.
It looked dangerous.
Still, I swallowed my reluctance and reached out.

Then he told me his purpose:
to use that wire
to imprison two people—
an older woman and a younger woman.

Something was wrong.
I looked at them.
They seemed like North Korean defectors.
Quietly, with my eyes, I asked if they were.

With their eyes,
they said yes.

I didn’t know how to help.
I turned and walked out.
I woke up.

The dream ended,
but their eyes have stayed with me—
sorrow and regret that do not fade.

This is not just a dream.
It is the present reality for many in the North.
What am I to do?

After my business failure,
I kept this burden at arm’s length for five or six years.
Now it returns.
Like that 24-year-old with nothing,
this failed, empty me
still wants to try again—
to take a step.

Lord,
what should I do?

I’ve been paging through seminary materials.
I’m looking into AI/data-analysis competitions.
I’m reviewing an investment model tested since last April.
I’m rebuilding my blog.

I’m trying.
But I still don’t know.

Lord,
what should I do?

If I can do nothing else,
show me what I must do today to help save lives.

I have failed in the world,
but Your Word does not fail.
I cannot bring my desires to pass,
but Your Word is faithful to fulfill what You speak.

So I seek Your Word—
the Word that does not delay,
the Word that surely comes to pass.

You loved Israel,
and You spoke to them.
Speak to me as well.
Lead me in the way I should go.

“Therefore say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: None of my words will be delayed any longer; whatever I say will be fulfilled,’ declares the Sovereign Lord.”

Ezekiel 12:28 (NIV)

Amen.