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“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul?”

Deuteronomy 10:12

Last Saturday, while reading Deuteronomy 10:12, a question came to my mind:

“What kind of training did Moses go through in the wilderness—where he could do nothing—so that he could later become a great leader?”

This thought hit me as I was preparing for a tough day of labor at a warehouse. I had recently lost everything — my job, my comfort, my sense of security. As I sat quietly, I prayed:

“Lord, please train me well. Refine me like pure gold, even through this hardship.”

Wilderness Training: Learning From Moses

Right now, I wear the same clothes every day because I can’t afford spares. I’m growing my hair—not for style—but simply to save money on haircuts. I eat one small kimbap and only one proper meal a day.

I’m surviving with nothing.

Currently, I’m writing my resume on a laptop kindly loaned to me by a pastor. I couldn’t find a job through regular applications, so early in the morning, I went to the local human resources office.

Now, I sit in a car on my way to a logistics warehouse somewhere in Gyeonggi Province, Korea — clutching my Bible for strength.

This is my wilderness season.
It’s painful.
It feels hopeless.

But still…
It’s okay.
If God is using this time to train me — even if it’s hard — I can endure it.

A Hard Question

During Sunday service, another difficult thought crossed my mind:

“What if this suffering doesn’t last 4 days, or 4 weeks, or even 4 years, but 40 years — like Moses?”

Would I still say “yes” to God?

Right there in the middle of worship, I felt God asking:

“Ryu, will you let Me train you, even if it takes 40 years in the wilderness?”

Until now, I couldn’t answer.
But yesterday, for the first time, I prayed:

“Yes, Lord. Please do that.”

It’s still scary. It’s still overwhelming.
But somehow, my hope in God grew just a little stronger than my fear. And that tiny hope gave me the courage to say:

Yes.

My Prayer

Lord,
I will risk everything.
I will follow You with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength.
Please refine me during this wilderness season.
Shape me into someone who can help and save many, just like Moses.

Amen.